I am one of those people who cringe at Public Displays of Affection. It’s one of the few things I actually have in common with Beloved Husband. So I’ll be careful not to commit too egregious a PDA in the rest of this post….
We joke that were we to submit our profiles to eHarmony or any of the internet matchmaking sites, their algorithms would surely have us avoiding each other like the plague. And yet here we are fresh off a celebration of our 40th wedding anniversary.
I’ve never been comfortable in a group of women if the conversation turns to what jerks our husbands are. Yes, he does some of the things I’ve heard other wives complain about: i.e., standing slack-jawed in front of the open refrigerator waiting for the ketchup bottle to ignite as a means of detection but, really, if after forty years together that is the worst thing I can come up with, then I’m a pretty lucky girl.
We were at a party recently where once again we found ourselves the oldest couple there. How quickly we’ve gone from being “the kids” in a gathering to being the hopelessly out-of-touch, untattooed oldsters, but that’s a subject for another blog post.
One of the other couples there was in the throes of new-found love. Both divorced and in their early fifties, they had hooked up via “Christian Mingle” and were in that stage of enchantment with one another where they could just barely refrain from commiting “the act” right there and then. At some point, and most assuredly they didn’t find out from me, the subject of the upcoming 40th anniversary arose. As did the inevitable response:
“Forty years?!? Wow. What’s your secret?”
I have no idea. Is there a secret? I don’t think so. Isn’t each marriage as individual as the people in it? What works for us would not work for them….or you.
But actually the secret of our marriage’s success was revealed to me without a lot of fanfare just the other day.
We were having lunch together as we do most days. I made the sandwiches while Beloved Husband doled out the chips. We sat together talking when suddenly I noticed that he was eating the shards from the bottom of the bag. And I was not.
I grabbed my phone to take a picture and a small tussle ensued. “You’re not going to put that in your blog, are you?” Laughing, I told him he better believe I was!!
Forget the shiny baubles, fancy dinners, and lavish trips. The small daily acts of consideration, kindness, and love are what add up to a happy marriage. How do you measure this on eHarmony? I don’t know. But if anybody I loved was getting married, I’d make them test their potential spouse with the almost empty bag of chips. It could save them a lot of trouble.
And thanks for reading,